I was born in the 60s, 1961 to be exact - same year as Lady Diana Spencer, subsequently and affectionately known as Princess Di, the peoples's princess. My first wedding was the same year as Diana's, 1981, a month before mine. We were twinning peeps, no lie. (haha)
I loved her. I loved her then, I love her now. I miss her. And I know that seems strange to say about someone you have never met, but Diana had that effect on people. I started following the Royals at that time, and I have continued ever since. Now I watch William and Catherine; Harry and Meghan; Princess Sophie and Prince Eddie; Charles the III; Princess Royal Anne; even the hapless Andrew, Randy Andy as he was known back in the day. (Even then a victim of his own libido) Oh - I forgot Camilla? No, I didn't. I gave her the attention she deserves. Not a fan of the homewrecker concubine that is known now as Queen Consort Camilla. Should have been Diana.
If I sound bitter, well I am a bit. If Charles and Diana had simply divorced and Charles had gone on to marry The Other Woman and everyone went their separate way, it would have been fine. But the fact is, public opinion weighed heavy on Queen Concubine, so she and Charles, along with the propaganda machine of the The Firm began a campaign to malign Diana, to make her out to be psychotic, mentally unwell, a loose canon, and they capitalized on the Bulimia and the depression she suffered from, creating extensions of mental illness she likely did not have. Demonizing Diana was the only way to get Camilla somewhat accepted as the eventual Queen. So let's get into that.
There are many stories of Diana and her drama in the palace. From throwing her pregnant self down the stairs to get Charles' attention to instigating affairs to self-harm and suicidal ideation. I'm not going to deny any of this. Firstly, I can't, I wasn't there. Secondly, Diana was a human being first, a princess second, and humans can be frail and emotional beings, and when betrayal is evident, the sky is the limit in terms of emotions. I know, I've been there. That shit hits hard, peeps, no matter what your situation is in life.
Diana loved Charles. She loved him way more than he loved her, and her love for him was hopeful, enduring, and generous. He was her perfect prince. She met him when she was a mere child, playing with the other royal children on the estate, and again when he dated her elder sister. It was at this time, the dream, her dream, of becoming his wife and the Princess of Wales started to germinate. Later, when he indicated an interest in her, the palace powers and the Queen started the engagement ball rolling. Diana loved Charles beyond life itself and now she was going to be his wife. Life was perfect.
But was it?
Of course in hindsight, we all know different, but this was her reality in 1981, at 19 years old, in love with a man 13 years her senior, and not just any man: the actual Prince of Wales. The Heir to the throne. That was where this love story started and it ended - well it ended almost as quickly as it had begun - although Diana held out hope for many years and did everything she could to be the perfect wife for Charles. It was never enough, as it turned out, which devastated the naive Diana. Unbeknownst to her, the marriage was over because the Prince of Wales was still in love with his former girlfriend, Camilla Parker-Bowles (nee Shand). The mistress. What's funny is Camilla's great-grandmother, Alice Keppel, was the concubine of King Edward VII, and Camilla was dead set on following in her footsteps. (no lie, peeps)
The marriage was over and Diana began searching for love elsewhere. Charles followed suit - back into the arms of Concubine Camilla.
"...Charles and Camilla hired PR stud Mark Bolland to rehabilitate her public perception. Bower penned, “The first hurdle, they agreed, was to demythologise Diana by portraying her as a manipulative hysteric…Since Diana's death, [journalist] Penny Junor had recast her book to portray the Princess as an unbalanced and unfaithful wife, suffering from borderline personality disorder.” - The Royal Observer.
I found this article in The Royal Observer, and one thing hit me hard: trying to portray her as suffering from Borderline Personality Disorder. This sentence goes a long way, in my opinion, to confirm Diana was NOT manipulative, not hysterical, not unstable and volatile. I can say this for a fact, and let me tell you why.
"Borderline personality disorder is a mental health condition that affects the way people feel about themselves and others, making it hard to function in everyday life. It includes a pattern of unstable, intense relationships, as well as impulsiveness and an unhealthy way of seeing themselves. Impulsiveness involves having extreme emotions and acting or doing things without thinking about them first.
People with borderline personality disorder have a strong fear of abandonment or being left alone. Even though they want to have loving and lasting relationships, the fear of being abandoned often leads to mood swings and anger. It also leads to impulsiveness and self-injury that may push others away."
I have a lot of knowledge and understanding about this particular diagnosis; my daughter was diagnosed with this in her teen years. It's not something you can hide or fake. It's an intense diagnosis with intense symptoms and it is not something that can be hidden, especially with people under a magnifying glass of media scrutiny. Zero chance Diana had this or we would have heard of WAYYYY more situations where unstable emotions would be obvious. Diana was constantly in front of crowds of people. She did not behave like someone with BPD. No way, Jose. People with BPD are unpredictable, the typical loose canon, poised to go off on anyone at any time if something is said or done which triggers BPD rage. Oh yes, there is rage. It only takes one minor comment, which everyone else does not even think of as being adversarial, to trigger an emotional response from someone with BPD.
And the abandonment issues: don't get me started on that. They can't be alone; they can't be in total silence; they need external stimulation and sound constantly to quiet the voices in their head which tell them they are not loved, they are going to be alone forever. Every relationship they enter into is fraught with drama and abuse until the other person leaves, thereby making abandonment a self-fulfilling prophecy.
Not Diana. Whatever her emotional issues were (my guess), eating disorder, major depressive disorder triggered by post partum depression, and fostered by Charles' indifference to her and their relationship, whatever demons she might have been fighting died in the Mercedes along with her that fateful night. So we will never truly know. We glean snippets of information from her friends, staff, and lovers, so we know she was struggling, but once they were divorced, Diana shone even brighter.
Literally nothing could take her out of our hearts, not even divorce from Chuckie.
Just when we thought she was living her best life (I believe she was), it ended horribly in a fatal car crash in France in the Pont de l'Alma tunnel. It was a high speed chase to avoid the paparazzi, but the driver was over the legal limit of alcohol to drive. Trevor Rees-Jones was the only survivor: Diana's bodyguard, although he was severely injured. None were wearing their seat belts or there might have been more survivors.
The day I heard the news was the saddest day of my life.
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